How to spend a leisure time?

Today, I woke up really early. Padahal last night gue tidur jam 1. And I wasn't expecting this.

And guess what I discovered, a new kind of spirit! <3

Well, to some people, waking up too early in a holiday like this is such a pain in the ass, especially when we stayed up late on the night before. But to me, I don't know how to say this, but this really makes me more spiritful to welcome a new day. For the past few days I always woke up late, usually at 9 A.M and I tended to be lazier to do anything for the rest of the day. I just lay on the bed, watched whatever-shows-that-is-on-tv, mostly E! News or V Channel, if there wasn't anything left to watch. Yeah, saking sampahnya acara TV.

Oh iya, I've been liking Nicholas Sparks' collection nih, teehee. I may haven't had all of his series, but so far I've read 2 books. These are Best of Me and Safe Haven. Best of Me is his latest novel, and I heard that he's working on a new book right now so... Can't wait? For most of you who already know who Mr. Sparks is, pasti nggak perlu gue jelasin udah tau sendiri lah ya. But for most who don't, well, he's a novelist. He writes books, a romance kind of book, yeah, that sort of thing. The Last Song, The Notebook, A Walk To Remember, The Lucky One, are the kind of "based-on-an-adaption-from-the-novel" movies, which is exactly my thing. I love reading.

 This is the cover, I'm sure it's an all night page-turner!

What made me buy Safe Haven? The answer is because they're going to make it into a movie on Feb 2013! And Josh Duhammel is going to be in there, you know, the one you saw on When In Rome? Exactly, I know, he's gorgeous and flawless. Bagus banget ceritanya! So suspenseful. Recommended.

Oh iya, I'm reading 50 Shades of Grey! Hmmm belum selesai semuanya banget sih, I have only reached page 100 because I get distracted easily by new movies and the unfinished assignments, jadi kepotong-potong dan moody-an aja bacanya. It says on the cover that it's a best-seller novel, but I haven't discovered what's best in there? Gatausih, maybe it's because I haven't yet finished reading so I don't exactly know what the story is about. Guess I'll read it later deh.

The day before, I watched The Bachelorette. Firstly, gue asal beli because there's Kirsten Dunst in it, I find that she's so inspiring ever since she was in Bring It On. Ok let's break it down, The Bachelorette is one hell of an entertaining movie, more likely to be a hilarious one, want to know enough? Nonton deh, it taught me how to be a loyal person in a different kind of way. Terus, nonton apalagi ya? LOL! Yeah, everybody knows it stands for Laughing Out Loud, but in the movie, lol is short for lola. I remember when Miley Cyrus said, "My name is Lola, but everyone calls me Lol." Lol. So that's what's it's all about, eh? Kyle nya eye-popping banget disitu, not to mention he's so charming it hurts. Recommended, I guarantee you're not going to regret watching it. Gue juga baru nonton The Woman In Black, biasa aja sih filmnya. Well, nggak biasa banget juga sih. It's rather frightening, but not more than Insidious. Gila, Insidious is way scarier than The Woman In Black... The sound and visual effect on Insidious is horrifying, I'm so not gonna watch it twice. Enough with the all-ghost-scenes thingy. The Woman In Black is more like... Ngagetin gitu kali ya? But seriously, it's nothing compared to Insidious. Although in general, filmnya very creepy sih.

Other than reading and watching, I just love spending my time reading Thought Catalog articles. Not only Thought Catalog sih, but the other articles that caught my eyes. @ThoughtCatalog twitternya. It's beneficial I think, besides expanding your vocab, you also absorb everything that's so thoughtful in there. @brainpicker, @TheSocialBrain, and more. Explore!

Hmmm...

I've been liking Usher's new album as well, Looking 4 Myself. Dari dulu, apasih yang nggak bagus dari lagu Usher? All of it are catchy, and easy listening. I've always loved every album of him. Generally. Somehow it just soaks up to the ear and it has always been such an eargasm.

Kadang emang basi ngupdate tentang lovey-dovey thing, that's why I've been avoiding myself from thinking the love-kinda-thing by doing so many things to keep me busy. It's okay to think of it sometimes, because love gives us strength. And strength is what makes us feel better in order to reach what satisfies us. Be good to everyone, because you don't know when you'll need a help from them.

Adios!

And the truth is?

Well, hello.

Minal aidzin walfaidzin, to all of you who had celebrated eid mubarak in a couple of days ago.

Every human in this world is bound to make mistakes, forgive me God for I have sinned, we may have a different religious views, but we are all actually entitled to one and we all know that this is undoubtedly the only way that leads to prosperous lives.

Hmmm, gimana ya. Gue bingung mau pour out all the spine-chilling stories ini kemana other than this blog, so... If by far you are okay with all the so-called cock and bull stories I have told, here we go.

Well, there's a saying that says "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I admit I was much of a presence-seeker creature that longs for a figure to lean on. And yes, this saying really does make quite a change for me. Have you ever waited for someone so long it hurts? Bet you had. If it turns out to be the way you expected it to, the feeling would be amazing. It's beautiful, it's peaceful, because it's like your dreams being captured to the reality. But if it turns out the other way around, it still feels wonderful... Yet it hurts. We'll feel wounded even.

It's quite magical I think, the second you think the person you've been hoping for pops out to greet you by a simple "hello", the second the word invigorates your mind (and soul, yeah?) it might just be a simple greeting, but you'll never know if it influences you greatly. Have you ever feel comforted by a person just by knowing that the person exists out there? Have you? Have you? It's cray the way your mind buzzes like, "like please, do not depend your state of moodiness on him, he's just dropping off because he's bored, nothing else." and your conscience is like, "he's the one, when nobody else is there, he's the person you've got yourself trapped, it's okay to keep him beside you." and suddenly you're in a complete strange of maze.

I don't know how to act anymore though. So many questions scattered, like, how would I cope up once he's gone? How would I manage to restrain myself away from the thought of not wanting to lose? About how would I be able to sleep tight at night without thinking what happened yesterday, what's happening today, and what'll happen tomorrow. How would I... Abandon the person I've got myself fall in love with? It's complicated isn't it. How they haven't even started saying they love you, but you already know because that's how they make you feel. They make you feel loved.

Gatausih ya. People have different perspectives, and I'm not gonna forbid them to judge what I've written. It may conduct cheesy, whatever-the-fuck-you-think lines, but that's what the truth says.

Where are you now, when I need you around.

Climax.

A snippet of usher's song lyric. Why? Because that line describes all the things I want to utter right now.

First thing first. Sekarang gue lagi mood-moodnya update blog, I have no idea why this desire came up by all of a sudden, all I can ever think of is, gue bosen. Rutinitas sekolah dibulan puasa emang nggak ada toleransi, at all. They don't have any idea how I could really use some ice tea any minute now to finally quench the thirst I have been fighting with. Seriously, nowadays, I hardly ever see the slightest bit of an overcast weather. It's like the weather has been playing out with the idea of me wanting to verbalise an outburst of indignation. Not that the devils inside me have got me trapped into juvie-type, but it's literally exhausting.

Recently, I think I've been having an insomnia case. My sleeping pattern isn't the same as it used to. I have always managed to go to sleep above 12 A.M, it's not good, they said. But what did I do wrong? I only took a nap for a couple of hours, but then it turned out nowhere near normal.

When did the insomnia begin?

I don't know.

Well by I don't know I mean it's not that I literally don't know a thing about my own ruined-sleeping-pattern case, believe me I do know, but I'm just not being certainly positive about the explanations.

You know, those days when you couldn't sleep at night because you just didn't want to end a conversation, but had run out of anything to talk to? The longer the night is, your mind simply refuse to shut the hell down and it just takes your feelings into a deeper, deeper, and deeper level and... Sometimes it just makes you forget a little while about the fact that your eyebags is getting bigger. Have I come to the realization that reality could be much more wonderful, if you had someone to unburden yourself to? Have I told you how your life could be more colorful if you had that one, absolute person who simply sees how messed up your face is when you're having a bad day, but still awkwardly call you the love of his life? Have I made myself clear to explain all the little things about you, could really lighten up my day in just a blink of an eye? Have I been underestimating anything that relates to your imperfection, by saying that you're the only one who couldn't take my mind away from living the life to the fullest?

When the wind blow away all the shades, where does the happiness go?

When the peak of a mountain comes up, where does the bird fly away?

When a song remains one thing, where else can it be fitted in, other than heart?

The joy of being pure to one-self.

So, hi guys.

It's been quite a long time I haven't feasted my eyes on the writings.

If you ask me why I wrote 'the joy of being pure' as the title, the answer is here:

Lately, I've been pondering over how the simplest thing could turn out to be the most perplexing predicament ever. Feelings, the dreaded word. Feelings can be translated into quite many words, and usually depends on the context of the case itself. Nowadays, I admit that it's really hard to think whether the person we have come to talk to is very nice, or they probably have ulterior motives behind it. Not that I feel some sort of ge-er about that one, but... This has got me into daily dose of deep-thinking.

Have you ever had a secret you couldn't tell anyone, one that wasn't yours to share?

I'm in a state of uncertainty right now, and by in a quandary I mean, I've come to realize that letting someone go would be as difficult as you'd imagined possible.
What happened to the good old days we once weave?
What happened to the things we thought we'd never say?
Why should we say goodbye, when there's no longer reason to say hello?
Nobody really knows the accuracy of the answer that people give off.

Who else in this world would've wanted to let go of the person you've always assumed that he's the only one, good reason for you to wake up to?
Who would've thought that things could change the way the time flies, without us realizing that the things we once believed is gonna last, when the fact makes it clear that nothing lasts forever?

Finding the comfort zone you've always needed, is one of the best feelings you'll ever feel. It's neither love, nor affection. It's simply about the measurement of comfort we've always had the urge to gain. Savouring the beautiful smell of red rose, is like letting someone in to your life. Its thorn only displays another hidden meaning. He may be the reason why you smile every each passing day, but you're never going to know when he's gonna hurt you. I'm not saying that having a relationship could turn out to be the way we thought would never happen, basically I'm stating that; either we're gonna feel wounded or not, it's only a matter of time. Yes, I'm just being straightforward.

Tell me how do you feel when right now, you're hanging upon an oak tree, bewildered in the evergreen expanse of the forest, without having people to scream at?

Being broken, is very common. Feeling all nobody-ever-feel-the-way-I-do case, could be a commonplace phrase I have the pleasure of babbling over. Sometimes when we feel like there's no one to hold on to, our state of mind tends to always head for the negatives instead of the opposite; been there, done that. What drives me to the utmost is that, why do I find myself depend my happiness on a guy like you? It makes sense if the reason is "I don't have anyone to handle this with, maybe it's good to have someone to rely on, I feel alone, but hey, a partner to untangle this riddle might be nice, and you were there..."

It's not that I beg for things to always stay the same, it's just that I just feel horrible having a dispersed reality to face upon all over again. Maybe we could give it a try?